About the Experiment

Friday, August 22, 2014

Week 2 Matchmaker: Tracy

The second Matchmaker is a film school friend, Tracy.  I think Tracy will be an interesting Matchmaker because she and I are very different: we both work in film, but I'm the weirdo-artsy-writer-director-type and she's the polished-professional-casting-type.  One thing we do have in common is frequent tales of dating woes.  She also uses online dating sites, and has been far more persistent in her approach.  My habit has been to use OkCupid for a bit, get disenchanted (and/or super busy with work), and de-activate my account for several months.  Until I'm bored again, log back in, and the cycle repeats.  I'm curious to see what kind of guys Tracy will match me with, are they similar to the type of guys she would date?  She's making changes to the OkCupid profile now (each Matchmaker will tailor the profile to their perception of me and how they think I should be portrayed to potential suitors) and is starting her search!

Updates on our Week 1 Bachelors: 
Bachelor #1 and I have a date set for this weekend, and he likes the idea of the California Science Center!  We texted a bit and he seems nice.

Bachelor #2 emailed that he is under the weather and asked for a rain check on our drinks date.

Bachelor #3 just emailed me (I hadn't heard from him and thought maybe he had changed his mind!) and likes the idea of an art museum date, so we'll figure out a time.

Observations about the experiment so far:
As someone who doesn't talk about her dating life much publicly, it's really interesting to get a lot of feedback on the experiment and bachelors.  Especially because the feedback is from people that I wouldn't normally talk about potential dates with, not only peers but also people who have been married for many years (and thus have a different perspective on dating than single 20-somethings).

For me it brings up really interesting ideas about technology, community, and isolation.  I see so many articles that decry Facebook because it isolates us and makes us feel inadequate/jealous.  But to me, technology is a tool and how you use it determines how it affects your life.  Facebook can create (or facilitate) community, and allow you to communicate with people that you otherwise couldn't or wouldn't.  By no means do I think it replaces face-to-face interactions, but I enjoy that it helps me stay in touch my family and friends around the world.  I also love that it allows people from very different parts of my life to interact.  For example, both a former boss and my best friend's mom had the same reaction to Bachelor#2 shooting down the date idea (they saw it as a Red Flag).

It reminds me of when dating was a more communal endeavor, like in high school and who you were dating was public knowledge, or in small towns/villages where everyone would voice opinions about your beaus, or many years ago when when a family member had to chaperone dates.  This is part of why I called the experiment Post-Modern Matchmaker (and I'll write a post soon with more explanation of that).  Modern dating can be so isolated, my friends have rarely met anyone that I've dated in the past several years and my family hasn't met any of them.  It's interesting to add a community element (often associated with small town/Old World) to Big City Modern Dating.  But how much will I like it if/when the community consensus and I disagree?  About the B#2 Red Flag, I'm in agreement.  We'll see about what other issues come up as the experiment progresses!

Happy Friday!

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