About the Experiment


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Week 1: Mom Picks Potential Beaus

The Week 1 results are in!  My mom couldn't narrow it down to three, so she picked four and I vetoed one.
I've responded to their OkCupid messages to let them know that they've been picked, and asked them to email me at the Postmodern Matchmaker gmail account to make plans for a date.  My mom also made suggestions for what the date would be (this wasn't required, but my mom is a planner and I think she wanted something more interesting than standard drinks dates).

My mom put real thought into her choices and they are all different than guys I would usually go on dates with, so I figured I'd give a little explanation of each (OkCupid usernames will not be included to protect privacy).

Bachelor #1 is a film student, baseball and hockey fan, whiskey connoisseur, and Eagle Scout.

Mom approved factors: Boy Scout (remember, she literally said that's something she was looking for?  I took it mostly metaphorically, but it is a bonus for her), film student (I went to film school and work in film), he says he enjoys adventures.

Why he's not My Normal Type: Boy Scout + the superhero references = reminds me of my brother (my brother is an Eagle Scout and very into comics/Geek culture), film student (film school was fun but was 5 years ago for me), and his profile says "Mostly Monogamous" (a problem I sometimes have with OkCupid is too much information/not enough context.  What does "Mostly Monogamous" mean to him?).

Date Mom Suggested: California Science Center, where the Space Shuttle Endeavour is, they also have many other exhibits including one on Pompeii.
(P.S. Why is the Space Shuttle Endeavour spelled differently than the word "endeavor"??  I looked it up like 3 times to check.  I assume with a "u" it's the British spelling, but it's an American Space Shuttle...I digress)


Bachelor #2 is a lawyer who is currently working in tech, and doesn't have a whole lot of info on his profile.

Mom approved factors: He's lived in several different states (as I have), one of his photos is with his family, and he's about the same age as I am and lives nearby.

Why he's not My Normal Type: He's a lawyer (my dad is a lawyer, so I generally avoid dating lawyers.  Also I figure they're rather by-the-book types, not compatible with artsy moi), I don't get a lot from his profile.

Date Mom Suggested: The Travel Town Museum in Griffith Park, or a picnic in the park.
(Edit: B#2 is the first to respond to my message and struck down the Travel Town Museum idea for dinner/drinks)


Bachelor #3 is a writer, for tv and an art magazine, nature-lover, and apparently was a Geek on the reality tv dating show Beauty and the Geek.

Mom approved factors: He's vegetarian (as I am), likes Joshua Tree (as I do), is smart and his profile is funny.

Why he's not My Normal Type: He's 5'5" (two inches shorter than I am, and I pretty much only date guys that are significantly taller than I am).  Other than that, he's very much the type of guy I'm interested in.

Date Mom Suggested: She sent me a link to a list of free museums in LA and we were looking at different options.  Since he writes for an art magazine I suggested an art museum or gallery and asked for his input.


Overall observations:
-I'm glad the guys my mom picked are all very different, and all different from the type of guys I would normally date.  Good job, Mom!
-OkCupid has a LOT of information on profiles, and it took a bit of time for my mom to adapt to reading all the different information.
-It's generally quite funny to browse OkCupid profiles with my mom, and it was interesting to see what information stood out to each of us, and if it was positive or negative.
-We got a few form messages (a message a guy clearly sends to every girl).  This surprised my mom, but I told her it's just like a pickup line that a guy uses on every girl in a bar.  For some guys it's a numbers game, and if they send the same message to everyone they can send more messages.  But it's a big negative for me, I'm very unlikely to message a guy back if he sent a generic message.  My mom agreed, and all 3 guys she picked had sent messages that showed they'd read the profile.
-Although I have bits of my normal dating anxiety, I'm genuinely looking forward to meeting all three of these guys because they're different!  I'm intrigued by what I'm learning about what I'm looking for, what my mom values, and about the differences in dating now vs. the 1970's & 80's.  I'm really glad my mom and I are talking about dating now, it's made me realize how little we talked about it before.


Also, now that my mom's week as Matchmaker has ended, a new Matchmaker is taking over the account!  My friend Tracy is the next Matchmaker.  We've been friends since film school and always swap dating/love life (horror) stories.  She tends to date very different guys than I do, so I'm quite curious to see what kind of guys she will pick!



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