I hope your new year is already going well. I've decided 2015 is a year to Take The Bull By The Horns, so I've been trying to make the most of it!
At the top of my priority list is a feature film that I've written and will direct, a dark comedy called The Average Girl's Guide to Suicide (I wasn't kidding about the "dark" part of "dark comedy")! We're working on putting together financing: last month we got Investment Agreements and I've been writing a Business Plan. As an indie filmmaker you have to wear LOTS of hats (although *ahem* we are looking for Producers to join our team) so I need to devote a lot of time and energy to this project. It's been a dream of mine for several years and it's currently my #1 priority to get this movie made and to our audience, so I have to be laser-beam focused and tenacious, aka this.
*NSFM Language Warning: 2 F-bombs ahead*
What's not at the top of my priority list? Dating. I'm not throwing in the towel, but dating is going on the back burner. I definitely need a break from OkCupid, which lately has only been a source of frustration. Whether it's weird messages (such as, "Any stalkers yet?") or weird guys (a guy who is living in a hammock at the beach recently sent me a series of smiley faces), there's been a real lack of anyone in the Fuck Yes category. We're getting close to the Fuck-It-I'm-Bored category of dates, which I want to avoid. I have better things to do with my time than go out with guys I'm not interested in, and they'd probably rather be out with girls that actually might date them, so it's a win-win.
I have been using the dating app Hinge, which matches you with people you're connected to through Facebook friends. It's basically an app that does the real life matchmaking I was asking my friends to do, so that's cool! It's a smaller pool of people, which can be good or bad. For right now it's good because it's less time consuming than OkCupid, but seems to be a bit more substantial than Tinder. A photographer friend took some new photos of me, and I'm curious to see if some better photos make a difference in who I match with. I still swipe on Tinder now and then, but usually when I'm about to open Tinder I think, "Is this really the best use of my time?" and usually the answer is. A friend invited me to a Tinder Dating Game event tonight, so that should at least be entertaining...?
I also still meet guys the good old fashioned way: in real life. On New Years Eve I literally got picked up at a bar (as in, a guy lifted me into the air. I don't know why), so at least my weird interactions with guys aren't limited to the virtual world! But I'm still working on the chutzpah to talk to handsome strangers, and it's a homework assignment I don't mind. :)
And I'm really enjoying just living my life. Sometimes when I'm out with friends I feel like I should be more actively trying to catch the eye of a handsome stranger, but I'm also quite happy to enjoy hanging out with my friends. In this new year I'm trying to be very conscious of how I'm spending my time, and make sure I'm spending it with people I really like or on things that are very important. And watching a lot of movies!
Recently my brother and I were debating whether you should put a lot of effort into dating or whether it'll happen when it happens. I feel like for the past several months I've put a lot of time and effort into dating, through this experiment and blog. So for the next month or few, I think I'll try putting that energy into other parts of my life and see how it goes!
I've learned a lot already through this experiment and blog, and I'm so grateful for what I've learned and the conversations it's started. I have to thank the Bachelors who have been part of the experiment, there literally wouldn't have been an experiment without you guys! I'm also so grateful for everyone who has been reading, my friends and family, my fellow bloggers, and the strange strangers of the Internet, thanks for following the adventures of my Rubber Ball Heart! It's been really encouraging to hear from people who have been reading the blog, to know I'm not just talking to myself over here.
If you want to keep in touch in the meantime, the Twitter account for this experiment is @postmodernmatch and The Average Girl's Guide to Suicide is @taggts_. Or you can drop me a line in the Contact Form on the right side of the blog!