*Includes a holiday sprinkling of NSFM (Not Safe for Mom) language*
As the Holiday Season starts earlier each year, so does the Holiday Season Singles Anxiety. The popular narrative is that it is awful to be single for the holidays. But let's be honest, unless your family kicks you out of their Christmas card for your single status (like Bridget), it's really not so bad.
My dating activity has come to a screeching halt. The Speed Dating events I've found seem sketchy, Grouper is only in NYC right now, and my friends don't seem to know any eligible bachelors that I'm not already friends with. I'm bored with OkCupid and no one who has sent a message has been "Fuck Yes" worthy. A sample recent message (verbatim): "Heyy you look tooo sweet, you are giving me a toothache 'ouch' lol ;D" And I'm like...
Bachelor #9 and I are talking again (platonically), but in our catch-up talk I seemed to fail at the "I'm Ok" side of the "I'm Ok, You're Ok" discussion. Nothing makes you say Joy to the World like getting that Look of Concern.
P.S. I'm fine.
I've had to face that I'm Super Duper Single for the Holidays. (Can I get a cape?)
Instead of crying into my eggnog, I've been thinking about how being single for the holidays has some advantages:
1) You don't have to go to your significant other's family gatherings, office parties, or friend's friend's parties. The holiday season is busy enough with just my own social engagements, I don't mind not having to juggle someone else's party schedule.
2) You don't have to decide whether to invite your (perhaps not-so) significant other to your family gatherings office parties, or friend's friend's parties. Maybe you just started dating, maybe you still don't know if you're "hanging out" or "dating," but the holidays can put a lot of pressure on relationships and non-relationships alike.
3) You can meet someone new (or lots of new someones) at all those holiday parties. True story: I've been getting better at talking to strangers, and have actually been meeting real guys at holiday parties. These conversations aren't turning into dates (yet?), but there have been some phone numbers exchanged. And sometimes it's just fun to flirt. The best news about all these holiday parties: each new week means more parties and meeting more fish in the sea.
4) Or you could finally make your move/pounce on your crush under the mistletoe. Nevermind that this usually backfires in movies and TV. But speaking from personal experience, if it does backfire, at least you probably won't have to see them until next year.
5) You can get a jump start on those New Years Resolutions. You know that person who is saved in your phone as "Do Not Answer"? It's better to be on your own than with someone you know is bad for you. Instead of swearing off the bad behavior starting January 1, start now. Do Not Answer those calls/texts/snapchats, and Do Not Initiate those calls/texts/snapchats. 2015 will thank you.
6) You can do the holidays your way. If you want to listen to Maria Carey's Christmas album 24/7, go for it (as long as I don't have to listen). This year I'm learning how to do the holidays my way: the holiday music I like (such as "Christmas is Going to the Dogs" by The Eels or "Spotlight on Christmas" by Rufus Wainwright), I made a wreath instead of getting a tree, and a total absence of ugly Christmas sweaters.
7) You can finish the year strong! Were there things you wanted to do in 2014 and didn't get around to? You still have time, don't let it wait until 2015 if you can get it done in 2014! Starting December 1st I've been meditating every day, because I'd been meaning to and there's no time like the present! (har har meditation humor)
8) And/Or give yourself a break. Last year I had quite a bit of romantic drama and I declared December 21st-31st: 10 Days of No New Boy Drama (some just to see if it was possible). It was awesome. The end of one year and beginning of another is a good time to look at what's working in your life and what you'd like to work on. Not New Years Resolutions like, "Go on a diet," but learning what helps you be your happiest, healthiest self.
So Super Duper Singles, repeat after me: I don't want to just be with someone, I want to be with someone awesome.
P.S. Los Angeles! I'm doing a standup show at Flappers in Burbank TOMORROW night (12/18) at 8pm. You can buy tickets here. We'll make you laugh, I promise!